"Best and the Brightest from 1964"
Sam, My clever bosom pal,
Your web site has enabled many mates to read my poetry
However, some had made them sad, For which I am really sorry
Please publish Verses below will cheer them immensely
I am now probably for the first time
In my life is care free
And become the person,
I have always wanted to be
Oh, No, not the man in the mirror
With baggy eyes, wrinkles
A pot belly and a sagging butt,
Like a lemon propped on two sticks!
I certainly do not agonize
Or lament over my looks for long
As I now have, an amazing,
Beautiful life to prolong
I would never trade
My rich experiences or my friends
For more hair on scalp or a flatter tummy
Nor to look amazingly young
I’ve learnt to let go things easily,
And no fuss over mistakes
Whether it is mine or others
And forgiving has crept into my life
A much kinder being, I’ve become to self,
Friends and foes alike
Surprisingly much less critical
And become an easy being to please
I do not curse myself for eating
That extra piece of cake
I do not care,if I did not make my bed,
When not feeling fit
I have earned the right to be messy,
Deaf, dizzy and confused
No routines and nothing is done
Till my mind is ready for it
I am sad many of my good friends
And loved ones have left the world
Far too early before they could
Enjoy freedom, privileges and joy
The care free life,
Great feeling of being in charge of my universe
Which is given on a plate,
The earned right, for us the golden oldies
Oh, no, I am not demented or confused,
My mental faculties are fine
Getting old is the best thing that can happen,
Similarly to good wine
Whose, business is it,
If I choose to play a computer game
Through the night
I do not need to answer
For delaying my bed time,
Watching a juicy porn film
I am the undisputed monarch
And the owner of all I survey
Dance to yester tunes uncared
Of missing steps or my sway
I have the right to weep thinking of affairs
Which broke my heart
As well to smile over jolly things,
Surreptitiously done in the past
I can walk in a swim suit,not bothered of the eyes
Gazing at my gaunt wiry body
Enjoy the bulging flesh of beauties around,
All my senses for that are trained and ready
Take a dive into the waves in the open sea,
Ignoring pitying glances from the jet set
They too will get old one day,
I have a chuckle and enjoy the freedom, today I got
A comedian once said, when a man gets old,
He will lose two things
One is the memory and the second,
‘Oh sugar’, I knew it, but I forgot
It does not matter I can always remember
Things, close to my heart
Why should I bother, no one is waiting
And none is there to listen.
Though my heart was broken many a time
And I am grateful for the memory loss
I am sure confusion is a God gift
For the golden oldies to live the life with less fuss
The broken hearts and sadness endured
Has given me the strength to understand
The impermanence of compound things
And nothing in life remains unchanged
I like to look at the bright side and enjoy my time,
Must remain optimistic and have a laugh
I am so blessed to have lived a long life
And should not be depressed or pathetic
I have seen my hair turn grey and fall,
My youthful laughs etched grooves on face
So many of my friends, who never laughed
Died with smooth faces and cheeks
As one gets older, it is easy to cope with change
As I have lived through them
Our attitude should be positive and forgiving
And I for one adore the person, who I am
I will not waste my time or cloud my mind,
As I know that I have the right to be wrong
Consider my changes of old age are trophies,
I’ve earned for a prolonged jolly good living
His now weakened, painful hands were healing hands Just only a decade ago, they were described as exquisite Fingers, insured for a million, the middle & the right index Adored by many thousands of his patients of the fairer sex
Those comforting digits ‘the diagnostic tool’ now a pathetic site Wrinkled and reddened with shrunken bones and swollen joints Stiffened by over usage, virtually fixed, unsightly and hopeless Like his eyes and ears non-functioning and passed ‘the shelf life’
VH & Repair, Ovarian cystectomy and removal of fibroids Were his bread and butter, did abdominal hysterectomy in minutes Ectopic pregnancies for saving lives and LRTs to support families Husband to do away with condoms or to the wives, their hormone pills
He never knowingly did an abortion, throughout for any price The foetus though small, he considered had a right of its own life Whether was created by an act of love or an act of lust Adhered to the Hippocratic Oath, to him life was very precious
Alas, his memory is faint and the speech is slurred, Voice once booming now is a whimper, hardly heard The beautiful nurse who was glued to him always by his side No longer there, neither his pride, nor the procession of clients
The shoulders droop and the back is hunched His heart once full of love broken and saddened Mask like face bears no smile, full of crisscross lines No teeth to show the spark has gone, virtually lifeless The flowers of youth had flown away Weeds do proliferate nearly everyday There are no warm hands to welcome him The twilight zone agonizingly extends day by day
Ariya De Silva
Submitted by Ariya de Silva
I thank you all on behalf of our family, Anoja & Lal, Geetha, Shiroma, Asitha and Komi, and grandchildren Jennifer and Chamath for joining us to pay our last respects to my father Ariyaman. My thoughts and thanks are also with absent family and friends.
I have to say at the outset that it is impossible for me to do justice to a man who has led such an exemplary life, and been an inspiration to so many. But I will offer a few glimpses of his rich life.
Ariyaman was fondly known as Menda, Mende, Dr Mendis or simply Doc.
He leaves a legacy of devotion to wife, children, grandchildren, family and friends, dedication to his profession, love of teaching, love and respect of his colleagues and patients, and service to his community.
Thathi comes from a very close knit family. His parents Dr A B Mendis and Mrs Charlotte Mendis loved and admired him. To his siblings Thathi was their much loved and revered Loku Aiya. Their unfaltering devotion to Thathi and each other over the years has been wonderful to witness. My special thoughts are with his dear sisters Damitha, Aurasie, and Mahila, and his dear brother Paddy and Charmaine. They and their late spouses, Dr GCI De Silva, Ally Weerasinghe and Bandula Wickremasekera created a loving and respectful extended family for us to grow up in. My late maternal grandmother, Galle Archchi, was an ardent fan of her son in law. He looked after her and my mother’s family, Loku amma, and Artie mama, now deceased, and Sujatha Punchi amma who is in our thoughts today.
Thathi was ever grateful for his formative years at St Thomas’ College, Mt Lavinia. There he excelled at studies and sports. A proud Thomian, we heard him singing his school anthem just a couple of months ago!
A new and long chapter began with a Medical School Dance when the young Dr Ariyaman met nurse nona Cecelia Jayasundara. He was soon to head off to the UK for specialist training. When Thathi introduced Cecelia, she was warmly accepted by his sisters and brother and nicknamed “Sis”. This ploy helped to keep the evolving romance under wraps from parents until my father telegraphed his parents from England to inform them that he had passed his membership of the Royal College of Obstetrics & Gynaecology, and that his bride to be was enroute to get married. My grandfather wisely trusted his son’s judgement.
Thathi returned to Sri Lanka in 1957 with his new wife and baby Anoja to be greeted with much celebration in Colombo. Cis & Ariyaman went onto enjoy a very successful partnership which produced four more children. Despite being busy with his career Thathi made time for his family. Our annual holidays to explore remote locations in Sri Lanka and Wild Life Sanctuaries and National Parks provide us with wonderful memories of fun and adventure. He and ammi knew to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. He was ever ready to gather around the piano and get everyone singing and dancing. There were endless opportunities for this as our huge extended family got together frequently to celebrate birthdays, New Years, weddings and everything in between. Ammi often reminisced towards the end of her life that she had had a wonderful life with my father and that they aspired to an ongoing relationship beyond this life.
On his return from England as a Consultant, Ariyaman’s career took off and he soon established a reputation as a highly regarded Obstetrician & Gynaecologist. As a child I remember that everywhere we visited in Sri Lanka, however remote, people would come up to him and say Oh you are Dr Mendis – you delivered my child and immediately extend their hospitality. I formed the impression that my father had delivered all the babies in Sri Lanka!
In his foreword to Thathi’s memoirs, his mentor, the late Dr Anthonis, Chancellor of University of Colombo wrote: “ Ariyaman’s life has been one of many scintillating facets. Academically brilliant, both his school years and his medical career are sprinkled with scholarships, honours and medals. When I met him at the Colombo General Hospital in 1951, I was drawn to him because of his intellectual qualities and his stamina. He readily did all the work allotted to him plus more. Time was not a factor to him, he worked till late, he was reliable, trustworthy and efficient.” He goes onto say, “His life reveals precision of the intellectual combined with the compassion of the humanitarian”.
Thathi had a gift for teaching. To this day his former students, who have been highly successful in their own medical careers, recall thathi’s inspiring qualities. I quote from a recent poem dedicated to my father by Dr Ariya De Silva OBE.
“The ideal teacher, an oasis of knowledge, erudite
None so far I’ve met, committed and so upright,
Kindness & understanding of students, an unfaltering friend
The mentor with wisdom and attention undivided
Gave your heart and your mind to patients, and never were in a rush
Understood their feelings, their worries, fears and concerns,
Encouraged me to reach heights well beyond my dreams
I thank you Sir, for that, from the bottom of my heart “
At the age of 50 my father left Sri Lanka in what would have been a major upheaval, letting go of a well- established career and extended family, in order to give his children a better future. Our family emigrated to Perth. It seems word got around before he got here as we were met by a number of Sri Lankans who became part of a wonderful network of friends, some of whom are here today. Ariyaman soon established himself in WA initially as Senior Medical Officer to the Kimberleys and later in private practice in Perth. Within a short time he was highly regarded by colleagues here. When I was at Medical School I encountered senior consultants who said to me, Geetha you can learn all you need to know from Mende. For a man who never sought recognition it amazes me how he was so widely known and respected. People still comment on his energy, diligence and attention to detail – whether he was doing major surgery or toiling under the bonnet of his car or planting trees didn’t seem to matter.
His passion for travel which he shared with my mother and the enthusiasm for photography that went with it, is a whole other story as evidenced by a massive collection of photographs all methodically annotated.
He also found time and energy to contribute to the WA Buddhist community. As usual his help was practical. Ajahn Brahm recently reminded him of how he helped with spade work to turn the soil for laying the foundations to the first buildings at the Serpentine Monastery.
We have been extremely privileged to have Ariyaman as our father. It has been our privilege also to look after him in his final years when Ammi was no longer able to care for him. I have to say that I am really glad they had five children, a son in law and two grandchildren as it was indeed a team effort to look after ammi and thathi so they could live in their own home to the end of their days.
Ariyaman means “noble mind”. I reflected recently with Thathi, that he truly lived up to his name. He set an example of how to conduct one’s life with dignity. This he showed us throughout his life and throughout his final years of incapacity, right up to his last breath.
We wish him the highest blessing, May he attain Nibbana!
Thank you all.
We will close the ceremony with a traditional song of praise (Danno Budunge), one of Thathi’s favourites followed by the anthem of his beloved alma mater, St Thomas’s College.
Please join us at home in Winthrop for some refreshments.
Sent to us by Dr. Ariya de Silva
Hi all, We had what I call a “MICRO RU64″ at our house on Feb 15th. Errol and Rosemary drove over 100 miles to join. The others were 15- 30 minutes away. This was mainly to view photos we took at Golden RU 64 an of course the skits, reliving the October RU. Thanks to Selva and Mahesan we got a DVD of all the skits. It was extra fun to watch with others. We had a few others mostly senior to us – Drs Nihal and Sarogini Gooneratne, Dr Eugene Anandappa and three other family friends. These people helped me with the Sinhala pronunciation, grammar for our skit and gave some constructive criticism. It was much fun and all enjoyed the lunch prepared by Yogamany. The non medical persons must have lost the little respect they had for me after they saw our skit! This has given the impetus to have a Mini RU 64- North America” soon. whether it will materialize is any ones guess.
Seated L to R Rosemary Baptist, Chitramali Asokan, Dharma (Beard is to hide from the law and is winter adaptation.) Temps are in the range of0 deg F (about minus 16 deg C) and will go to Minus 7F tomorrow!
Dharma
For most women, I know today, their body shape is very wrong If little plum, a cause for great concern
If felt too thin, they would urgently want
to put in the right places, bit of flesh on
If they are slightly rounded they are sad
and in puerile stances, eternally moan
starvation diets and calorie counts on
Spend half their lives and earnings for the gym
Become moody and want to be skeleton thin!
In anger or just for fun, if call them,
Using a foul or unbearable name
With a smile they will take them
But if you even accidentally say ‘fat’
it would be the crime, horrendous most
From that unmistakable moment onwards
no mirror is spared at home or anywhere else
Glancing at every angle will be the focus of life
The relationship with you would face irrevocable change
She will highlight your bold patch
your occasional failure in bed
Become the target for her constant stare
And from then onwards you are not her friend
Breakfast egg over boiled, toast burnt, the tea will be cold
She will hurriedly withdraw all past tender care
Nothing you may say or do will help the bugbear
Will make no difference, the bitterness will be there
Anorexia nervosa and bulimia
Are new terms now used quite often
These are results from aberrations
of attitudes by wanting to be thin
The beauty industries, and the role models
have indoctrinated our vulnerable women
The importance of the hour glass body shape
and being fat’ is an unpardonable crime
A doll like face and vital statistic
thirty six, twenty four and thirty six
You cannot possibly maintain when
one has well passed age thirty six
Natural changes, wrinkling and sagging
if you ever try to point them out
Your life will not be worth living,
And soon be relegated to the dustbin
The great Victorians however
knew and had the correct answer
Frisky aristocrat women with faces
decorated like painted dolls
Wore under their flowing skirts
a rigid bamboo cones enhancing the pelvis
Their waists then deceptively appeared thin
The shape of hour glass was achieved by everyone
The dirty old men drunk, running like jackasses
pinching bulging bottoms of high spirited lasses
They had a remedy to hide their bold patches
All had their scalps covered with great big wigs
Mimicking natural flocks with profound black curls
Lack of sex drive, potency or libido
Was not a great worrying issue at all
As gallons of gulped Rum made useless
All of them with no sexual prowess
 When I was a child, I wrote a tiny poem
It is not of high class nor does it rhyme,
I feel it has an appropriate perfect meaning
More so now, as I am elderly and feeble.
Do not estimate the worth of your garden,
By the number of fragrant blooming, flowers,
Check the aging and dying leaves, brown and yellow
Which fed the plant in the past, to flourish and grow.
Wrong to count as good times exclusively the sunny hours,
Should never forget the dark days, raining cats and dogs
As rain nourished your plot to make your paddy grow
So that you have rice on the plate to help yourself grow
Enjoy properly your nights not just admiring the moon
Or counting the stars in the sky when the moon is gone
Certainly the darkness of the night does have a role to play
The calmness allows you to rest, to be fit for the next day
Assess your life as worthy by times you’ve made friends smile
Must take away from that list’ hours you’ve made them cry
Never regret for what had gone, make it a useful tool to learn
The one who learns from mistakes is the one who uses his brain.
Whatever the big position you may now hold
Remember none of us did it all alone
Our parents who now are old and haggard,
Fed and guided us to what we are, right or wrong!
One’s old friends, specially the batch mates
Are truly the architects of the professional life
They were there consistently advising and sharing
The tough swim upstream to imbibe gems
From the ‘ocean of knowledge’ to make us special
By not publishing this poem
Please do not take my smile away.
If you do not want to see me sad
Put this in your RU website, esteem
The profession with a prefix ‘Noble’, even the royalty would lower their sway
Fifty long years of hard slog, amidst rain, hot sun, freezing snow or cold spray
A super batch of medicos toiled sake of humanity, here at home & a few far away
Returned with friends to relive their impressive past, in a truly memorable way
The milieu is pretty, gorged with heavenly scent, delighting the Resort, ‘Eden Spa’
Southerly winds rocked in harmony flowers & buds, dancing on tree tops near & far
Mixing soft pollens with the nippy morning dew and produced a heavenly aroma
To salute the deeds of prodigious sons and daughters of beloved mother Sri Lanka
Butterflies & bees forgot for once, to visit the nectary to fill their bags of honey,
Instead flocked to the resort to please us, and danced waggling their empty tummy
Babies on mothers’ laps, seeing our fun & frolic, smiled, giggled and blethered friskily
Ignoring copious pouring milk from ‘melons’, in mums’, covered in bras cagily
Dwellers in tiny tree hutches, eagerly came out in hot Sun, sat to stare Patiently on the watched, with their large eye balls, focus on the grand affair
Birds busted out of nests, danced to their songs, exhibiting amorous ‘love play’
Splashing flower petals and pollens, ignored their usual morning bites & prey
Fish big and small busy in the sea, in rivers, rivulets and brooks near and far
Formed gentle ripples lovingly, sniffing, cajoling and enticing, for one look extra
Beat of their fins, sprayed drops & split the colours of Sun rays to form a rainbow
Thus did their very best to delight us & and converted our hearts, to a fervent altar
Water falls from hill tops rushed nonstop, jumping through stones and rocks,
Slowed down in the meadow at the resort, to share our fun, with thievery peeps & checks
The monarch of planets, sent energy beams in form of brightest pure white rays
To rejuvenate us, as well to peep at our beautiful damsels romping on pastures and pools!
By far the best batch of medicos entered the medical school, Colombo Held their reunion golden, ceremoniously in Beruwala, at the ‘Resort Eden’
For this gathering of famous, distinctive medical men and women, Some with their better halves, gleefully joined, 1964 batch mates, eighty seven!
Returning to our own ‘Bethlehem’ of the medical world, was amazing and wonderful
As I opened the door to enter, saw the bunch of wriggling mates with gleeful smiles
Being unable to pick which one to meet first and to let go my pent up feelings and give hugs
I got the same feeling of that of a mosquito entering a nudist camp with plush red hot boobs!
Flashed back fond memories as we sat on respective seats of the lecture hall physiology
Remembered like yesterday, Professor Koch, saying that we were the ‘cream of the society’
For making this gathering of my beloved mates in such a fantastic ambience
Please accept my heartfelt gratitude and thanks to the RU organizing committee
It was truly a magnificent titanic affair, pretty colossal
Like of which so far unheard of, and surely there was none parallel
Everyone was eager to meet their mates, after so many decades
Initial task however, was to get the name correctly of the bubbling buddies
Anoja started the forum giving the agenda and the house keeping points Aley got us in stitches reminding how he became brave to speak in English
The beaver of the batch Lakshman, underlined the programme’s, dos and do-nots,
Narme and CJ too gave glimpses indicating how our three days would progress
Walking through our library was poignant as I passed the seat I used to sit
Reminded my days as I saw some poor students fallen asleep on the book
I had a smile as fifty years ago I never thought I would make it
When we think back it wasn’t as bleak as we as students thought and felt!
It was yet another great idea, RU organising committee had planned
To offer to the library copies of Text Books, written by our own mates
In addition, the offer of twenty or so scholarships to the needy students
Was truly a magnanimous gesture our most generous batch mates made
Current staff were admirably gracious and were very cooperative
Continuing the glorious trend of our professors and Academics
Anoja and many others must have had a very positive influence
We were even treated for tasty cinnamon buns and Milo milk refreshments!
Thirty odd Kilo meters, our journey from Colombo to Beruwala Hotel
I am not alone to say this, became the most entertaining track to trail
Knowing the lyrics and history of film songs, ‘Kadavunu poronduwa’ to date,
Playing his guitar like a professional, Esiri sang in his most melodious voice
While Deepthi, Mahendra, Swana, Shakut and others joining the chorus
What a pleasant surprise the welcome at the hotel was
Traditional drummers and Kandyan dancing men and girls
Escorted us to the hotel on a carefully laid red carpet
Glamorous welcome I have ever experienced, the most
In all my seventy years of life and truly very elated, I felt!
Almost all of us were around or soon becoming septuagenarians
The failing memory was the killjoy, unlike the youthful former days
Some alas showed the savagery of time slightly more than the others
Yet with a hint secretly whispered, recognised correctly all our mates
Learnt how to boost the morale with a white lie, everyone abode
‘Oh you’ve not changed a bit, please tell me, how you did’
The sweetest thing we yarned to hear, came out from every buddy
Diplomacy was rampant as all tried to make each other very happy
A bouquet of flowers to those who toiled to make the occasion possible
Professor Anoja of Pharmo and ethical fame was the skipper astute
Lakshman and Aley handled finances, bookings and things many more
CJ did a stupendous job, spreading across the globe, the ‘RU gospel’
Narme, editor in chief, did rationalize contents of the souvenir very well
There were aspects which made our souvenir great, grand and unique
Firstly the acumen of the editorial team, Anoja. Lakshman and Narme
New ideas from so many, like the ‘then and now’ photos and the ‘mini bios’
For which Dharma and Wimal did a painstakingly difficult job collecting details
Poetry corner, memories and appreciations of our teachers and mentors
Photos, and jokes especially from Titus, elucidating the richness of our past years
One other striking thing striking about our ‘souvenir golden’
Was the absence of commercial ads and no outside interventions
We are proud and grateful to have two willing, affable mates
Wije and Seelan who bore entirely the batch souvenir expenses
Dharma, Wimal and Selvaranee sorted out affairs in the U.S.
CJ, Praxy and yours truly, managed to energise the Britishers
Mahilal, Mahendra, Nimal and Seelan removed cobwebs from the Aussies
Ana, Indira and MLD in Canada, Ruthraj in NZ inspired respective mates
Of all the mates who made our reunion a spectacular event
Core contribution of a few stand well above the wall parapet
From the first day to the last, every single aspect of this mammoth event
Laky, Shanti, Narme, Anoja, and Aley our heroes, on that there’s no contest
Let me thank on behalf of the batch to all their spouses
They worked hard and were the catalysts for the RU success
Those who came to the party decorated the gathering with their graces
Special mention is made for those spouses of batch mates
Who were intensely involved in organising and setting this party colossus?
Faizal Zavir mesmerized enire Beruwala with his divine music
Gaspar sponsored the Friday evening karaoke performances
Esiri Karu sang yesteryear Sinhala euphony, tingling auditory senses
Deepthi delighted thewhole place with her flute and Baila dances
Must mention here a line about our batch ‘cake queen’
Selvarani, produces a delightful cake in our every reunion
Praxy’s contribution to the RU also need a special mention
She was a useful busy body, a facilitator to keep things moving
Her after dinner speech following the Gala ceremony was a good ‘thanksgiving’
More importantly supervised arrival of foreign liquor under the guidance of Seelan
Hotel accommodations, refreshments and the food were class first
Smiling faces of all the staff and the atmosphere was excellent
The milieu of the venue was excellent rates were so low it was a steal
Must thank the committee and our Sam, for finding a jewel of a Hotel
It was humbling and a fantastic experence on Saturday to share a meal with us
Great Prof. Priyani De Soysa our beloved teacher at an age eighty nine plus
With Dr Ana Soysa former ENT surgeon, the arrangement to be amongst us
Yet another grand mile stone and showed our committee’s Sterling Class
It was not just song and dance and food for the tummy they did arrange
To rid the cob-webs from our brains scientific meeting Prof Anoja was in charge
Chosen were five top class respected medical giants in their respective fields
And a joker also was given a chance to put the gathered crowd in ‘nine stitches’
Most memorable, hilarious and enjoyable part of our Golden reunion
No doubt was the hurriedly arranged drama show ‘the block concert’
Each country was given to produce a drama or two in this event
The USA team won everyone’s heart on that there was no conflict.
Anslem compered the concert with his usual command and the professional touch
Some characters were so good there performances could match any professional act
Dharma’s performance of a pregnant lady going through a twin confinement
Obstetrician, Banda used scientific jargon to translated all filth uttered by the patient
Also cannot get over how ‘pretty nurse’ Perumal, for contraceptive used a Panadol tablet
Gaspar, Chandra, Narme, Aley, Mahilal, Eddie, Soma, Banda, Piching, and Willy,
Damayanthi, Deepthi, Rose, Anoja, Indrajee, and many others agile, like Donney
Danced to the sixties music through the night and created an ambience heavenly
Those of us with croaky voices and creaky joints, just watched, yet felt very jolly
Taking the group photo alas, had a set back with stops and starts
Rain gods were unkind to us but none of us were deterred
First with spouses then on our own, dodging the falling rain drops
Somehow we did stand together shoulder to shoulder all in one shot
As they say ‘All good things must come to an end’
After three wonderful days we had to say ‘Good buy’
Just like the scenes of hugs and tears when siblings do apart
Each one with tear filled eyes was sad to let go mates and part
Having returned to the four corners of the globe, quite depressed and sad
We desperately try to hold on to incidences and faces; the dream experienced
I for one feel like a baby whose favourite toy has been rudely snatched
Without doubt everyone wants soon the RU64 committee, a repeat enacted
Finally please forgive me if I have omitted to mention important events
My memory is not as good as my student days is now rapidly wining
Contents here are obviously very remote from the wonderful happening
If there are omissions consider me not as a batch mate rather as a sibling
Dharma and some of our US batch mates enjoyed the RU’64 so much, he has plans to have a “mini get-together” in US to relive the joys of the gala event !
Dates are not available yet. Stay tuned for details.
News, Views and More from Batch'64, Faculty of Medicine, Colombo, SriLanka 